Signs of life...

The last couple of days have been pretty scary for me. I have had this terrible gut wrenching feeling like something was wrong with the baby. I felt that when I went in to hear the heartbeat for the first time it wouldn't be there. I lost a night of sleep and cried a river for two days over it. Instead of putting my baby's life in the Lords hands. I am realizing how hard of a time I am having trusting my Savior. It's not that I don't want to, I just feel like I don't know how too. Better yet I want to only put things half way in his hands so I can keep some control to myself.

So this morning I went to my appointment in fear instead of trust and peace. Despite my anxiousness (which is sin) and my fear (which is not of God) the Lord still proved himself faithful to me, and most importantly has his hands on my baby. I watched that little heart beating and found much conviction in the signs of life. No matter how any of my pregnancies start or end, God holds all life (mine, my babies lives, etc..) in his hands. He cares for us so much he knows every hair on our head. I stand humbled before my Lord today (as I should everyday) with Love and a prayer asking for him to help me put my cares and worries in his hands. I want to trust the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding. He is All Mighty!! Thankyou Lord for your mercy and grace, and thank you for the signs of life.