My health

As most of you know my health is a constant struggle for me. I haven't had much relief from the constant pain here lately. Things around here don't slow down to fit with my physical limitations. Two 4 year olds, a 2 year old and a 10 month old don't make for quiet moments of rest and relaxation. Instead it busy from before dawn till well after dark. I love every crazy moment but am physically falling apart. Any mother knows that having children (especially so many toddlers) pulls on you not only physically, but emotionally, mentally and spiritually. What an amazing responsibility. I do not take it lightly. My children are not lacking in love and spiritual covering, but very much so in all other areas. I feel like I need someone to be my hands and feet. Right now we have a part time "nanny" that comes to help us. We love her and she is so great and a tremendous blessing. The fact that the schedule she can come is one day on and one day off puts my body into a worse state. I am working really hard to make it through one day, then she comes the next. I have to try and get all the errands, and rest crammed into that one day. Then she is gone again. It is like a horrible roller coaster. After talking and praying and going over the finances we decided that we need full time help but can't afford it. However, we have this huge room over our garage that we are not currently using and thought that maybe if we had a live-in nanny that it might work out cheaper because you can minus the rent from the pay, plus they work longer hours. Before this starts to sound horrible like we are slaving someone :), which we aren't, let me explain the benefits for both parties involved. We provide a separate living space of about 300 to 400 sq. ft furnished with bed, desk, couch, chair, tv, mini fridge, a full bath (that they share the tub only with the kids the rest is theirs). They pay no room and board, we cover utilities too. Then we pay them a set amount a month. While this sounds like it costs a ton it doesn't. It saves us A LOT!!! In return she helps me with the day to day chores and physical part of taking care of the kids and the house. While none of it is affordable, unfortunately it's all we can do right now to help my health. There aren't any cures or medical routes that will fix this. It will be God and God alone. Until then I put my hope and faith in his Name and not my prayer to be healed. I know one day the Lord will bring my healing and until he does there must be a story, a testimony he is creating in all this that he may receive all the Glory. I Know God can provide for our needs so we are doing what we need to so our kids can have a healthy mom and not one that ends up so sick for days that she can't get out of bed. This is the most precious time for me as a mom and I don't want to miss it because of a physical limitation. While it is hard at times for me to accept the help or admit I can't do it, because I so want to in my heart, It is so necessary for the well being of all of us.

Please pray that the Lord will continue to bless our finances and for my healing.